Self-Care: Practicing Self-reflection
Background
If you could use an opportunity to renew your self-care,
whether it is your new year resolution or just the spring-cleaning vibe, the
Lenten season is as good a time as any.
Lent is 40 days before Easter from Ash Wednesday to Good Friday. It coincides with the turning of the season
from late winter to spring.
The Christian observance of Lent focuses on
self-reflection and discerning your path to your best self—to discerning your
path/your calling. It is about clearing out the (internal) debris and clutter between you
and God and turning your path back toward the Light.
You don’t have to be Christian for these timeless ideas
to sound familiar.
So, in your self-care practice, pick what is true to you
and your path. This blogpost is only my
ideas from my limited experience.
If some of this is helpful, great!
If it’s not for you, that is okay; just let it go.
Where Self-Reflection Fits Into Self-Care Habits
So, in self-care practice, you should have some element
of self-reflection. I discussed this
briefly in an earlier blogpost about different categories of self-care to include movement, self-reflection/mindset/inspiration, nutrition/food,
spending time outdoors, breathwork, and recreation/socializing and connecting
to your community.
How to Start Your Self-Reflection Habit
As we move from winter to spring, take quiet time to be
with your heart. Quiet, heart-listening
time.
What comes up for you?
Peace or restlessness?
If it is restlessness or discontent, can you identify
where this is coming from?
The energy of spring is about forward movement and new
growth.
Is there a change you need to make in your life? In self-reflection, slowly work to discern,
what this discontent or restlessness is connected to.
Is this leading you forward on your life path toward the
best-version-of-yourself? Or is
something in your current life or your lifestyle that has you stuck in a rut or
leading you to something you do not want to be?
What do you need to do to be closer to the
best-version-of-yourself? Journal about
it. Find mentors who can help you on
your path. Keep working on it. 5 minutes/day minimum is better than no time
at all.
Identify (to yourself) the clutter you are clearing out
to make space and peace in your heart and in your life.
There are so many ways this can manifest, as many ways as
there are individuals. And, as an
individual, you may find one pattern of clearing/de-cluttering/cleaning that
works best for you. And you may notice
you have familiar ruts you get stuck in.
You may need to change up how you do your
clearing/de-cluttering/cleaning when you “best way” is no longer working as
well as it used to.
Change is uncomfortable.
And, change is constant.
“Often when you’re at the edge of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.” -Fred Rogers
“Nobody else can live the life you live. And even though no human being is perfect, we always have the chance to bring what’s unique about us to live in a redeeming way.” -Fred Rogers
“Our lives change when our habits change.” –Matthew Kelly
Self-reflection—discerning
your current calling
Steven Pressfield and Tim Grahl talk about “shadow
careers”. That we are following what we feel is “best fit” and “right at the time” careers that help us develop the skills we need for our “true calling”. But that everything eventually becomes a shadow of what your next calling is.
careers”. That we are following what we feel is “best fit” and “right at the time” careers that help us develop the skills we need for our “true calling”. But that everything eventually becomes a shadow of what your next calling is.
Concluding Message
We should be always listening to our
hearts, discerning in our self-reflection practices, and taking stock of where
we are in our path toward what we are called to be, the
best-version-of-ourselves, and what that looks like, in that time and space.
Ideas
and resources
If you are looking for ideas to renew
or start your self-reflection practice, here are some resources to learn more
about mindfulness, clearing physical clutter, journaling, tai chi and qi gong,
prayerwork, and poetry.
Mindfulness
- Mindfulness for Beginners: Reclaiming the Present Moment and Your Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn
- Letting Everything Become Your Teacher: 100 Lessons in Mindfulness
- Mindfulness Meditation for Pain Relief: Guided Practices for Reclaiming Your Body and Your Life (audio CD)
- Sitting Still Like a Frog: Mindfulness Exercises for Kids (and their parents) by Eline Snel
- Good Night Yoga: A Pose-by-Pose Bedtime Story and Good Morning Yoga: A Pose-by-Pose Wake Up Story
- Breathe Like a Bear: 30 Mindful Moments for Kids to Feel Calm and Focused Anytime (book) by Kira Willey, based on her music.
- A Handful of Quiet: Happiness in 4 Pebbles by Thich Nhat Hanh
Informed Mindfulness: The Power of Awareness and Choice in
Effective Leadership by Michael Aquilino, Bonnie Horrigan, and
Adam Perlman
Related
blogposts and websites
- Adults learning about mindfulness.
- Health and well-being practices with children
- Gaia.com has instructional videos on yoga for health and mindfulness exercises and a small number of tai chi and qi gong instructional videos.
- Mindful.org has many articles about mindfulness practices for health, for improved leadership skills, and mindful education (classroom) resources.
Clearing
the Physical Clutter
Clearing the clutter. For clearing out the physical space to help
make room in your internal (mental, emotional, spiritual) space, I recommend
the book by Marie Kondo, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. She also has a follow up book, Spark Joy: An Illustrated Master Class on the Art of Organizing and Tidying Up
Journaling
Journaling, proven by James
Pennebaker and colleagues (published in peer-reviewed scientific journals) to
be useful in processing emotions and ideas in a healthy way. Journaling helps process experiences to find
clarity. Journaling has proven health
benefits.
- For more about the research and health benefits of journaling:
- Opening Up by Writing It Down, 3rd edition: How Expressive Writing Improves Health and Eases Emotional Pain (July 2016) by James W. Pennebaker and Joshua M. Smyth.
- For practice exercises on how to journal in this way, the following books are noted as more useful:
- Expressive Writing: Words that Heal (2014) by James Pennebaker and John Evans.
- Dr. Wayne Jonas on journaling
- The article, “15 Journaling Exercises to Help You Heal, Grow, and Thrive”
- and related video.
Tai Chi and Qi Gong
Work with your local certified
instructor or NCCAOM board-certified acupuncturist.
If you are also interested in a book about these practices for self-care, look up Dr. Roger Janke’s The Healer Within: Using Traditional Chinese Techniques to Release Your Body’s Own Medicine ,Movement, Massage, Meditation, Breathing
If you are also interested in a book about these practices for self-care, look up Dr. Roger Janke’s The Healer Within: Using Traditional Chinese Techniques to Release Your Body’s Own Medicine ,Movement, Massage, Meditation, Breathing
Prayer work
- Work with a spiritual director in your faith. The oldest Christian monastic order, the Benedictines, have a tradition of outreach to community in spiritual direction from one-on-one sessions, group sessions, and retreats that are non-denominational or Catholic.
- For example, see the St. Placid Priority programs in Olympia, WA, at the Priory Spirituality Center 2019 programs include art (felting, enneagram), music-facilitated imagery for the soul, and seasonal programs (Lenten retreat).
- Or maybe other monastic traditions in your area may offer some form of spiritual direction.
- If you enjoy mindfulness practices and quiet contemplation, you may be interested in learning centering prayer. The old tradition of lectio divina that leads to the practice of centering prayer is both peaceful and healing but requires a mentor due to its complexity and depths.
- Centering prayer books: Thomas Keating, founder of the modern centering prayer practice
- Intimacy with God:an introduction to centering prayer (2009) by Thomas Keating
- The Path of Centering Prayer: Deepening Your Experience of God by David Frenette (forward by Father Thomas Keating)
- Open Mind Open Heart by Father Thomas Keating
- Too Deep for Words: Rediscovering Lectio Divina with Thelma Hall
Poetry
and Poetry-Prose
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| Tao De Ching (on the Reflective Reads post) |
- Ideas for inspiration at the Reflective Reads blogpost include the following authors: John Muir, Lao-Tzu, Mary Oliver, Benjamin Franklin, William Butler Yeats, and John O’Donohue
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| poetry is a useful vehicle for self-reflection |
If this post on self-care was helpful to you, please support this work via our website and share with a friend. Peace to you in your self-reflection practice.
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